Most of us don’t enjoy conflict, but avoiding it isn’t an option. It finds us whether we’re ready or not. The key? Learning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Here are a few simple practices I’ve discovered:
- Stay present when someone is upset. Treating them with care in that moment can actually strengthen the relationship.
- Be curious. Ask questions until they’ve expressed everything they need to—let them release the tension.
- Show empathy. Acknowledge how tough it must feel and let them know you understand.
- Look forward. Ask what changes they’d like to see so the same issue doesn’t repeat.
These steps don’t just de-escalate conflict—they transform it into solutions and a deeper connection.
Bring on the conflict—it’s a pathway to stronger relationships.
Gratefully,
Spence (December 2025)
One day back in 2022, Spencer said in a staff meeting, “I want to think of a way to make billing a little nicer for our clients. Nobody likes to open a bill, especially for architectural services.” And thus, Spencerisms were born. That’s an internal name we initially gave these short notes Spencer writes to our clients each month, if they receive a bill. The name stuck, only because we couldn’t think of anything else that fit. We hope you’ll enjoy these bits of encouragement (or simple thoughts) Spencer shares each month.